13HRP – 0092 – Fart Cannon
Object Class: Orange–Crimson Tier — Weaponized Biological Gas / Area Denial Device
Alternate Names: “Flatulence Blaster,” “The Gas Gun,” “Project Stinkstorm”
Description
13HRP-0092, designated Fart Cannon, is a crude but devastating weapon built from reinforced iron tubes, rusted pressure tanks, and an organic core of unknown biological tissue. When activated, the cannon releases an explosive blast of compressed gas. As a result, the following effects occur:
- Knocks back targets within a 20–30 meter cone, often throwing them to the ground.
- Fills the area with a noxious, lingering cloud described as smelling of rancid grease, sulfur, and spoiled meat.
The gas hangs unnaturally long, sometimes lasting for days in closed spaces. Consequently, filters clog within minutes, making it extremely difficult to ventilate contaminated areas.
Effects of Exposure
- Immediate: Coughing, eye irritation, and dizziness begin almost at once. Moreover, victims often stumble away in confusion.
- Extended (30+ minutes): Loss of motor coordination, nausea, and uncontrollable laughter in some cases. In addition, disorientation grows worse the longer exposure continues.
- Severe (Prolonged exposure): Victims report hallucinations of giant Mac Zurger mascots hovering in the gas, whispering slogans. Furthermore, many collapse under both terror and absurdity.
Some researchers suggest the Fart Cannon was intentionally designed as both a crowd control weapon and a psychological warfare tool, blending humiliation with incapacitation. Therefore, its purpose seems less about destruction and more about degrading dignity.
Containment Procedures
- Keep the weapon dismantled inside a triple-sealed storage vault. Additionally, all components must remain separated to avoid reassembly.
- Restrict testing to outdoor Mirror World zones only. As a result, spread within human population centers remains unlikely.
- All personnel entering contaminated areas must wear reinforced suits with advanced filtration. Moreover, observers must rotate frequently to reduce exposure risk.
Recovery Notes
Investigators recovered the Fart Cannon from a ruined Mac Zurger military depot labeled “Prototype Division – Nonlethal Arsenal.” Dozens of Rat Men corpses lay scattered nearby, their faces twisted in expressions of both agony and absurd hilarity. Consequently, analysts believe the weapon backfired during deployment.
Directive – Grand Council of Xikeony (Seal)
“Do not fire it again. Let the gas rot inside its tubes, never in the world.”
— Grand Council of Xikeony, Statement 92.Ω
“Mark 0092 as weapon of shame. It does not kill by blade or bullet, but by laughter and stench. Therefore, know this: those who wield the Fart Cannon will be remembered not for victory, but for disgrace.”
Last modified: 2025/09/28 at 22:18 pm
Published: 2025/09/28 at 22:19 pm
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By Silvia Moan