13HRP – 0044 – Golden Chicken

Overview

Entity 13HRP – 0044 – Golden Chicken, appears as a radiant bird with feathers that shine like molten gold. Witnesses often describe it as “too bright for the eyes, yet impossible to ignore.” Although its form looks humorous, the entity exerts a strong memetic pull. Observers feel driven to laugh, clap, or pray as if they were attending a divine show. Moreover, its presence alters hunger responses. Stomachs rumble, saliva builds, and food cravings spiral out of control. In addition, long exposure triggers confusion, making subjects mistake hunger for devotion. Consequently, victims treat food as holy gifts meant for the Golden Chicken.

Classification: Living Artifact / Dream Parasite

Behavior and Abilities

Compulsive Laughter: Exposure beyond five minutes leads to uncontrollable laughter, often until collapse. Medical staff describe this laughter as harsh and damaging, with subjects tearing throat tissue after extended hysterics. As a result, containment protocols forbid prolonged visual contact.
Greed Induction: The sight of golden feathers sparks hoarding impulses. Victims try to pluck the bird and keep or eat the quills. However, the feathers melt into liquid gold, which burns into flesh. Strangely, victims smile even while injured. Therefore, retrieval of feathers is strictly banned.
Anomalous Nutrition: Any cooked meat placed near the Golden Chicken changes into poultry. For example, beef stew becomes chicken soup and fish pie becomes roast chicken. Although the food keeps its calories, it gains a greasy aftertaste that lingers for days. Consequently, all containment areas must remain free of food items.
Self-Replication: When threatened, the bird lays golden eggs that hatch into smaller versions within hours. These chicklets chirp in distorted harmony, producing sound patterns that disorient listeners. Eventually, they rejoin the main body, causing it to grow larger with each cycle. Therefore, the longer a breach continues, the more dangerous the Golden Chicken becomes.
Heat Aura: Close proximity reveals a heat field that warms skin like fryer oil. Metals soften, oils bubble, and water evaporates. This field grows stronger during replication events. As a result, environments containing the entity often resemble kitchens filled with smoke and grease.

Cross-References

13HRP – 0050 – Mac Zurger Robots: Units sent to collect feathers returned clogged with grease. Their servos locked while they chanted “Eat More Gold.” Inside, gearboxes were coated in a butter-gold sludge that resisted all solvents. Consequently, robotics are unsuitable for recovery attempts.
13HRP – 0047 – Butter Cult: Cult writings describe the Chicken as a “Herald of Grease,” a holy bird destined to fry the world in sacred butter. For them, its arrival signals a final feast where flesh itself becomes batter. Therefore, the cult treats sightings of the Golden Chicken as prophecy fulfilled.
13HRP – 0345 – Crimson Egg: Samples from the Chicken’s eggs match fragments from Crimson Egg, hinting at a shared source. Analysts argue the Golden Chicken may be a corrupted offshoot of the Egg’s line. In this way, the entity links to a broader network of avian anomalies.
13HRP – 0027 – Milk Bobble: At sites touched by Milk Bobble spores, the Chicken’s feathers curdled into foul slime. This suggests the spores weaken its molten biology and reduce its glamour. Consequently, combined encounters raise containment challenges.
13HRP – 0066 – The Slayer 9 Beast: In one recorded clash, the Golden Chicken avoided the Beast, leaving behind molten feathers as traps. These traces burned through nets and delayed recovery. Therefore, the Beast may recognize the Chicken as an equal or rival.

Incident Report GC-12

A team tried to bait the Chicken with tranquilizer-laced seed. Instead, the seed deep-fried itself, releasing clouds of burning oil. Operatives reported the Chicken performing a “victory strut” around the fire before vanishing into smoke. Three staff suffered serious grease burns. Later reviews described the strut as ritual, with rhythmic wing beats that forced team members to chant without meaning to. Consequently, food-based lures are now prohibited.

Supplementary Incidents:

GC-15: A researcher swallowed a feather fragment by mistake. Hours later, their skin looked like fried batter, and they clucked between words. The change ended only after harsh chelation therapy. Therefore, medical staff must handle feathers with sealed tools.
GC-21: During a breach, twelve chicklets fused too soon, forming a giant bird three times normal size. This form produced smoke trails shaped like carnival banners. Consequently, replication speed remains a high-risk factor.
GC-23: An abandoned cafeteria found weeks after exposure showed every item, from chairs to vending machines, turned into chicken effigies. As a result, the entity demonstrates long-term environmental control.

Theoretical Implications

The 13HRP – 0044 – Golden Chicken may represent a parasitic symbol of human hunger — a creature that twists appetite into worship. Some analysts argue it is the “clown bird” mentioned in corrupted texts of the Butter Bible. Others claim it is a failed strain of the Crimson Egg, built to distract and destabilize containment through absurdity.

Cross-analysis suggests the Golden Chicken also acts as a memetic weapon hidden inside comedy. Its laughter compulsion breaks defense lines by forcing collapse. Its food changes corrupt supply chains, turning meals into endless poultry. By pushing obsession, addiction, and worship, the entity destabilizes both mind and body. Therefore, the Golden Chicken is not a joke but an active threat to cultural and biological order.

Some theorists warn that its constant replication shows purpose. Each cycle grows larger, pointing to a future where it eclipses containment zones. If it fully merges with its chicklets, the result may be a colossal bird powered by hunger itself. Whether this final form would fry, devour, or laugh humanity into ruin remains unclear. Consequently, researchers stress the need for ongoing monitoring and cross-project coordination.

Last modified: 2025/09/10 at 19:51 pm

Published: 2025/09/10 at 03:54 pm

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GoldenChicken

By Silvia Moan