13HRP – 0081 – House of Wool
Object Class: Orange Tier — Environmental Anomaly / Cultural Parody
Alternate Names: “Woolen Shrine,” “Mac Zurger Cottage,” “The Fleece Franchise”
Description
13HRP-0081, known as the House of Wool, is an anomalous structure located deep within Woollyland. From a distance, it looks like a quaint cottage built entirely of compacted wool fibers: soft, fibrous walls; tufted roof; and windows resembling sewn button-eyes. However, closer inspection shows the house plastered with Mac Zurger logos— distorted, faded, and reappearing in random positions after removal. Moreover, the strange placement of these logos creates the impression of a parody shrine that resists every attempt at erasure.
Internal Features
- Walls & Furniture: The structure consists entirely of wool, yet the material resists damage unnaturally. When cut, the fibers bleed faint grease, making the interior both grotesque and surreal.
- Logos: Dozens of Mac Zurger symbols weave into the fibers, some glowing faintly. If torn free, new ones immediately appear elsewhere in the house, which highlights its endless cycle of branding.
- Kitchen Area: Woolen stoves and fryers produce mock Mac Zurger meals (burgers, fries, drinks). Food manifests steaming hot; however, it disintegrates into wool fluff when bitten, emphasizing the hollow parody.
- Living Space: At the center of the main room sits a “throne-chair.” Occupants who sit there hear an endless commercial jingle looping inside their skull. Furthermore, the jingle never existed in the human world, underscoring its purely anomalous origin.
Inhabitants
- At times, Woollyland entities (wool-doll humanoids) occupy the house while wearing makeshift Mac Zurger uniforms. These creatures act as staff, serving wool-based food while muttering distorted slogans.
- Additionally, when questioned, they call the house “the first franchise beyond the door.” This phrase reinforces the link between Woollyland and consumer parody.
Behavioral Effects
- Visitors inside the House of Wool report strong cravings for fast food, even though they never feel full. Consequently, guests often linger far longer than intended.
- Extended exposure eventually causes subtle wool-fiber growth across the skin and hair, as though the house “brands” its guests with its parody of Mac Zurger identity.
- At least two visitors coughed up small Mac Zurger logos stitched from thread after exiting the house. This detail shows that the infection follows them beyond Woollyland.
Containment Procedures
- Relocation attempts always fail, so the House of Wool remains in place. Therefore, its surrounding perimeter in Woollyland stays cordoned off and marked as a No-Go Zone.
- Surveillance drones monitor the structure constantly for fluctuations in logo manifestation rate, ensuring that patterns remain tracked.
- Personnel entering must wear sealed environmental suits to avoid direct exposure to wool fibers. In addition, exit protocols include decontamination and medical evaluation.
Recovery / First Report
Hollow explorers in Woollyland first logged the anomaly after following greasy footprints into a valley of wool hills. Ultimately, the footprints ended at the House of Wool, where they found three explorers already inside. Shockingly, the explorers happily ate wool-burgers despite having starved to death hours earlier. Their corpses sat around the woolen table, smiling, creating a grotesque parody of family dining.
Directive – Grand Council of Xikeony (Seal)
“Treat the House of Wool as both shrine and infection. Do not enter, do not taste, do not sit. To dine within Woollyland is to brand the self forever.”
— Grand Council of Xikeony, Report 81.Ψ
“0081 is parody, hunger, and worship woven into fleece. The Mac Zurger logos here are not of the human world; instead, they are echoes, copied badly, and repeated endlessly.”
Last modified: 2025/09/27 at 19:15 am
Published: 2025/09/27 at 19:30 pm
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13HRP – Hollow Reality Project
By Silvia Moan